Sunday, December 28, 2014

I'll have what I'm having

I'm not sure how I feel about the article, "3 Ways to Make Your Bourbon Bartender Love You," on

Well, no, I am sure how I feel about it. "Shut up and pour them what they ordered" about sums it up. What I'm not sure is whether I should feel that way about it.

The three ways, according to Demitrius the Bartender, are:
  1. Don't ask your bartender to destroy a good bourbon.
  2. Don't be afraid to try something new.
  3. Take your time and savor the flavor.
As it happens, I'd offer all three recommendations myself, though I'd phrase #1 more along the lines of, "Don't waste your money on cocktails that would taste just as good with a bourbon half the price."

I suppose what I really object to isn't the advice, but the perspective from which it's offered. Do you really decide what to order and how to drink it so your bartender will love you? Should you? Demitrius writes:
I’m one to keep the bourbon snobbery to a minimum, but I have love for the art and craft of fine whiskey consumption.
Is love for consuming fine whiskey best passed on by declaring that anyone who doesn't drink bourbon the way their bartender wants them to is doing it wrong (ordering the wrong cocktail is "sacrilegious," ordering your old standby is a "faux pax," taking a shot "defeats the purpose of drinking bourbon")? That anyone drinking bourbon wrong will be judged and found wanting by their bartender?

I mean, of course they're doing it wrong, and of course the bartender will judge them for it. But don't tell them! That will just scare them away from bourbon altogether, and their bourbon bartender will become their flavored vodka bartender.


  1. In the opposite direction, there's Whisky Blasphemy, where they use very rare and expensive whiskies to make cocktails.

    1. Good for them -- assuming they really do like cocktails made with the best ingredients, and annoying the purists is just a bonus.